Welcome my world. This is where I chronicle my pedestrian life, spread the message of hope and peace, and try to hide the fact that I’m a self-indulgent poser and gay psycho.
Past Dan Knows Best Entries
My Favorite Restaurants in New York City
Joe Shit the Rag Man
Summer 2016 Trend Predictions
Don’t Wanna Live Inside Myself
Fucked My Way Up to the Top
Fall 2015 Trend Forecast
A Perfect Sunset
Swarm: Not Just for Losers
My Sobering Trip Home
Dan Knows Best by Dan Allegretto
A Perfect Sunset
We all know where we were on June 23, 2015 at 8:30 PM. I assume most of my readers were either stuck late at work or unemployed and blacking out at a bar alone or with “friends.” From a bar stool in Greenpoint I noticed the blend of canary and grapefruit-colored light on the west side. A gathering of people I thought were cooler than me was happening later in the evening so I wanted to pregame and get my buzz on as to not seem like a tense nerd. Having a staring contest with the outside world in my boozy haze, I left my half full drink behind and headed outside to see if the bar had tinted windows or if a giant road flare was ablaze next door.
Instinctively, I began my brisk mince to the waterfront and was met by the silhouettes of three couples wrapped around each other set against the Manhattan skyline. As I got closer I saw that all three couples were lesbians, which isn’t that crazy because it’s 2015, but like... To the distant side was a uniformed off-duty sanitation worker with a huge DSLR propped up on a tripod next to his government issued late model Ford Taurus. We made eye contact and I mouthed “hi” but I made sure not to make a sound out of respect to the other spectators. Silence felt encouraged like in an art museum so I kept my trap shut.
After looking at the sky for ten achingly long seconds pretending to be entranced by the the sunset, I couldn’t help but think that my busted ass iPhone 5C in my pocket missed me. Immediately the flood gates on my Instagram, Vine, and Twitter were opened; I truly let it rip. Everyone was also on the same tip as me, as I’m sure you all know. Normally I would deem an Instagram spectacle of this caliber as demonic at best, but I did not mind this happening at all. With the news lately being an absolute brutal nightmare, it felt good for a second to focus on something we can all experience and appreciate. Well, except for the blind I guess...
Being a self-described “not corny loser,” I rarely get sentimental. There’s nothing inherently funny about a sunset pic, but last night was a laugh riot. I’ve never felt so conflicted. Moonlighting as a normal person I tagged my posts #viralsunset and cackled in between sips of my Budweiser. I did not want to stay lucid during the aftermath of The Sunset. I liked every single person’s images. This is a major Alt Fault, but I felt like my social media comrades and I were tucked snuggly underneath the same fuzzy gay blanket of inner connectivity for a few hours. It got dark again and it was back to the hell world that we are all used to living in. Just to feel a little something I grammed a pic of the sunset again the next afternoon to revive the feeling. It worked until the Likes tapered off.