Heart of the Lion
A fling across state lines, long bus rides, cemeteries, and Ariana Reines.
We met outside the revolutionary theory reading group. In the old building on Telegraph, where the Public School used to be. I had helped lead the discussion that day with Jill, on Luxemburg’s The Mass Strike. She and I had cooked green beans in her apartment earlier while her huge dog bounded around. Marie brought tiny cupcakes to the reading group. You didn’t come to get drinks with everyone after, so I only saw you at the door, smoking and wearing a jacket. I introduced myself and said that we had talked online and that I was moving to Richmond to go to college, since I knew that you were from there. You said something too cool, like Oh, and went back to looking at your phone. Later in life, I asked you about that moment, and you said you were just nervous because I intimidated you, but I think that was just to flatter me.
You messaged me after I had moved to Richmond and said that you were coming back to visit your parents in a few months. I forget the context, but I told you about how I thought my professor was possibly trying to sleep with me. I think I said it because I wanted you to know that people your age wanted to date me. You said you were disgusted with him. I showed you pictures of banners that I was making against the tuition hikes and then I invited you to my Federici reading group. You asked if you could bring your sister. I really looked forward to you getting here, I counted down the weeks but told myself not to. Things were not working with the people I was sleeping with, it felt like they liked me too much and I wasn’t ready for it. When you told me about your recent breakup, you said that what you wanted more than anything was to fall in love. I said I never wanted to fall in love again.