Extended Release
Stimulants, anti-anxiety meds, SSRIs, oh my! Rachel Allen recounts a day of her body on various drugs.
10:40 am: I wake up. I send some texts about porn and theory. Yesterday I took an Ativan on the train home and then another one while I took a bath. I slept well. I get the best hangover (a very specific heart feeling) whenever I take my Ativan and during it I like to bury myself in bed and read Twitter.
I am still unemployed.
11:00 am: I get out of bed and look for my instant release Adderall. I don’t want to take it, but I need a job. I can only find my extended release Adderall. I don’t want to commit to amphetamine for the next 8 hours, but I do.
11:30 –11:55 am: I redo my eye makeup three times, trying to make my cat eyes match. I feel annoyed knowing they still don’t, but the part of me that isn’t speeding convinces the other part to let it go.
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Rachel Allen lives and writes in North Carolina. Find her on tumblr.
